mug mug mug

Working at a coffee shop produces so much gripe fodder for this site, I'm mad at myself for not using them until now. Here we go.

-Customers who ask me how much things cost: the menu is right in front of you. Read.
-Customers who ask me for drink recommendations. If you need a recommendation, you won't like what I recommend for you. I don't like white chocolate/hazelnut/caramel frozen lattes.
-Customers who think I'm impressed by the "large" amount of caffeine they're getting in their mocha to "stay up all night, bro"
-Customers who call me bro.
-Mispronunciations of various coffee terms: "expresso," "cuppaccino," "coffee latte"
-Customers who watch me make their ludicrous triple shot, extra chocolate, nonfat, sugar free vanilla abortion, and wait until I'm through making it to tell me that they wanted it iced instead.
-Specific customer who demanded I give her a new cookie, because her's was broken. What, are you 6?
-Specific customer who used my tip jar to make change for a dollar while my back was turned, and acted like I didn't catch him elbow deep in a serious faux pas.
-The way my hands are always dry and smell like espresso.
-The way my tip jar is really more of a currency trashcan for pennies.
-Customers that develop an ego about their drinks and seem to think they're "coffee people." Yeah, bro. You're the fuckin' man, drinkin that frozen vanilla white chocolate mocha. You love coffee.
-"What flavor is your cappuccino?"
-Customers who pay with money that is wet from their thigh-sweat-soaked pockets.
-The fact that absolutely no one cleans the coffee, half & half, sugar, etc. that they spill on the counter.
-Customers who order iced cappuccinos.
-Specific customer who always orders a half-shot latte, takes a sip, asks that I keep diluting it with milk, repeat, because the espresso gives her headaches. Here is a glass of milk. You can put a lid on it and pretend it's a latte, so people will still think you're cool.

Those are the most grating. There's probably more but I'm feeling like a cynical asshole now.

Good things:
-seeing Rival Schools
-Halloween Is Grinch Night
-battling my usual morning dread/depression by putting myself into walking comas with Beestings, Isis, Sleep, Interpol, Cave In, and various other calming crushes.
-Step Brothers
-Cottage Cheese
-I'd like to sleep in a pile of clean laundry one day.


Danny